literary diversions

beauty in imperfection. it’s amazing how this poem by robert herrick has captured that idea.

DELIGHT IN DISORDER

A sweet order in the dress

Kindles in clothes a wantonness;

A lawn about the shoulders thrown

Into a fine distraction;

An erring lace, which here and there

Enthralls the crimson stomacher;

A cuff neglectful, and thereby

Ribbons to flow confusedly;

A winning wave, deserving note,

In the tempestuous petticoat;

A careless shoe-string, in whose tie

I see a wild civility;–

Do more bewitch me, than when art

Is too precise in every part.

- Robert Herrick

caught in between

a couple more days until June arrives. hence, another academic year is in tow.

this will be the second academic year since i left UP. it’s just weird. i have this inexplicable longing for school, and UP, or what-not’s. the idea of no longer having to deal with readings and critical analysis has managed to console me quite briefly. but i’ve come to realize that demanding class requirements only entail a meager percentage of my entire schooling experience.

i can’t even begin to list the pro’s and con’s of being employed as opposed to being a student. no one, in their right minds, would choose to be a student again, especially after securing a job. except for a select few. but definitely not full-time.

to be quite honest, my job has never posed as much challenge as my creative writing or critical theory classes have had. right now, i feel like i’m contained in a tiny little box, in that fetal position, not knowing whether i have to open it up myself and let myself out, or if someone will arrive to pull me out there. that’s a harsh and hopeless situation!

now that i’ve mentioned that, it just struck me that maybe the lack of critical drive have caused this static environment within my work routine. unlike in our classes back in UP, every session offers variety and new insights from both ends of the spectrum. while in here, i barely even get to speak to my officemates. it’s just me and the computer. period.
hopefully, this new assignment i got will give me the much-needed boost as i continue to ponder on my confused state. i just hope to continue to grow..that’s all!

maybe i just have not come to full terms yet with the separation. its like a child being cut away from her mother but there’s still that unspoken bond. or maybe, i have just mistranslated the signal, and i rather associated UP with the people i spent my time there with.

wishful thinking

today, i got a new set of tasks from my client. he promised me before that i’d be writing something totally different, meaning it has nothing to do with playstation games whatsoever. sure thing, that made me excited.

when i arrived at the office today, i was curious to find out what that new task is. turns out, i’m going to write a sort of feature article of some of the major attraction cities in the US. one heck of a job right? i mean, i just returned from a brief vacation and having that short break only fueled my desire to have an even longer break, maybe out of town this time, who knows? and i here i am, writing about these famous tourist destinations and telling potential readers the best places to go in, say Beverly Hills or Miami, when I, myself, have never even been there yet. not only do i lack the means (right now, at least), but time is my biggest adversary as of the moment.

i guess i should quit procrastinating and return to writing my articles. cause then, i will not only be able to have a glimpse of places i’ve never been to, but also visit those that are so lovely and pristine, they existed only through the human process called imagination.

crash into me

Youve got your ball
Youve got your chain
Tied to me tight tie me up again
Whos got their claws
In you my friend
Into your heart Ill beat again
Sweet like candy to my soul
Sweet you rock
And sweet you roll
Lost for you Im so lost for you
You come crash into me
And I come into you
I come into you…

Touch your lips just so I know
In your eyes, love, it glows so
Im bare boned and crazy for you
When you come crash
Into me, baby
And I come into you…

Oh I watch you there
Through the window
And I stare at you
You wear nothing but you
Wear it so well
Tied up and twisted
The way Id like to be
For you, for me, come crash
Into me.

- Dave Mathews Band

brief furlough

“All work and no play makes one dull.”

This is it! I’m taking a break (a paid holiday at that – thanks to my client who was kind enough to give me the incentive) from work for a couple of days. Hopefully, those couple of days will be put to good use. After all, summer’s almost done and this could be my last shot at being able to enjoy the season before it bids goodbye. And more hopefully (fingers crossed), it extends up until the weekends so I can enjoy it to its fullest.

I really do deserve this one, after all that I’ve been through this past week.

Oh, I hope I won’t miss work – all these articles to write. Nah! I don’t think so. Forget about the outside world for a while, and all the work and everyday stress that goes with it. Hopefully, I’d be back for work next week feeling more rejuvenated! So, here’s to hoping…

forrest today

Ever seen the film by Steven Spielberg, Forrest Gump? Not only is it one of my favorite movies of all time, but it is also one of the most compelling films I’ve ever seen. Forrest stood out as a character, and no one could have probably played the role better than Tom Hanks.

It wasn’t till of late that I got to watch the film again and was amazed at how it still maintained the kind of levity it has when I first saw it. And I won’t even try to describe what the film is about at the risk of making it more conventional than it actually is. Hate to use a cliche but it the film brings out a gamut of emotions. Forrest is such a sympathetic character whom, despite his lack of intelligence, is bound for great things. Maybe his oblivion or lack of cynicism in the way he views things has enabled him to disregard the savage nature of the world. This world might deride him as “stupid” but he has craftily woven himself into some of history’s major events and grabbing opportune moments.

This kind of movie is what we need. It enables us to reflect on our times through eyes without cynicism. By saying this, I don’t discourage critical thinking. But by looking at Forrest, we come to terms as to why some people are referred to by others as “too clever by half.” Forrest was clever just exactly enough. It takes me back to several occasions when I overhear some people say they want to go back to the time when they were still little kids, because then they lived with no worries, just taking life exactly for what it is. Also, maybe then we also have had a much better opinion of the world.

Forrest Gump, although it can admittedly be taken as a bit fairy-tailish of a movie, it enables us to arrive at a reconciliation with our society. So, next time you describe the world as cruel, stop and think that maybe those who inhabit the world makes it so.

idol marathon

My entire weekend consisted mainly of listening to my younger brother lament the fact that he has to say goodbye to his teenage years, and me confirming just why I deserve the title of being the world’s biggest couch-potato there is (haha, no puns!). Yes, aside from the fact that I was feeling too lazy to get out of the house (despite Ed’s insistence on me getting to do more outdoor stuffs and exercise), I have found one reason to make the television set my bestest buddy even just for this weekend.

And come on, pardon me, okay? I mean, everyone’s so hyped up over this whole “American Idol” frenzy. This weekend was probably the only time I was able to sit down and watch the entire season, on a marathon at that. Yes, it started out from the auditions to the trimming down of the contestants to twelve, and up to the final two Davids. And my dad’s quite confident that Cook had this in the bag (so reminiscent of Paula’s comment that she is “looking at an American Idol” after one of Dave’s performances on the Neil Diamond episode). I agreed with him, but wouldn’t make it quite obvious because he thinks he has an ear for music (sorry dad!).

Watching AI actually led me to make the following observations:

1) That Jason was eventually doomed, and was quite lucky he went as far as top 4.

2) This was probably one of only few times that Simon gave some “good” feedbacks (as he likes to play the role of the “hard-to-please” judge) on a contestant’s performance, most of them on Dave Cook’s.

3) Such a pity for Carly when she finally got a thumbs-up from Simon, that’s when she was sent packing (kiss of death, indeed!).

4) Quoting Randy Jackson to Jason Castro: “But you’re a beautiful guy!” (under ordinary circumstances, that would have been taken as a compliment, right?).

And lastly, 5) David Cook. Hmm, how can any man look so good and sound so well at the same time? If I would have been single, the thought of him alone would have made me glad I was. haha

That’s it for now. Can’t wait for the finale.

thoughts on “labels”

My feeling is that labels are for canned soup…I am what I am, and I know what I am. ~ Michael Stipe

Strict and snob. Among the most common first impressions that people have of me, those two adjectives stand out. And to be quite honest, to a certain extent, it does bug me. Nope, actually, a lot.

It’s quite trivial actually because what bothers me is not the “label” itself, but the “act of labeling”. Like, do the words “strict” or “snob” really do represent who I am and that is all there is to me? And more so, I am not one to judge (for lack of a better term) people based on what I perceive of them, especially when meeting them for the first time. And yes, “meeting them” does not consist of having a conversation with them.

It’s probably human instinct to organize or categorize things (and that would include people, I guess) . But placing people into stereotypical images is lazy judgment of character. There are different layers to a person’s overall being that just could not be deciphered by the furtive glance they give you, or their choice of clothes, or the way they speak or laugh in public.

And more so, there are those who put on a facade to make up for their own personal issues. Say, a person who appears to be shy and introvert might be suffering from issues of self-esteem and confidence; and you can’t help them raise the level of their self-esteem by assigning these negative labels. On the other end of the spectrum, there are also people who appear to be so self-assured and overly confident, and yet they use that to make up for conflicts or issues that they have to contend with themselves.

Appearance would always be ambiguous. In fact, some of my closest friends now had a slightly different opinion of me, as opposed to before they got to know me in a more profound level. Most people do not know that there is a goofy and wacky side to me. And although I am not one to speak to a stranger first in certain situations, does not mean I would single people out. Can I be strict or snob? Maybe. But that is NOT all there is to me. I’m just often misunderstood. And so are most of us.

If people are so keen on labeling, before long some of us might start putting price tags on one another. Who knows? In a world full of breakthroughs, that is not an impossibility.

hell no!

I was fidgeting non-stop on my seat and everything in my body was feeling uncomfortable and achy. I guess it was time to take a short break from writing, and so I was browsing the internet for a while, in an effort to find anything amusing, or fun, or carefree – qualities that are so not reminiscent of my, er, new (and yet more cutthroat) task.

So, I took the liking into taking this rather funny quiz, which had me answer a series of questions about me and Ed, and us. They called it a “love compatibility test”. (Quite unnerving to put the fate of your relationship into the hands of the computer, huh?) And what’s even more amusing than the name of the quiz itself? Yes, the result that I got!

Twins, eh? Not really. We’re quite the opposite, in fact. But opposing ends really do attract, like magnets. What a lame simile that is! But we sort of complement each other, in a way. But, more often than not, we are surprised to find that we have just as much similarities as there are opposite qualities. I only wish science also has an equation to make something seemingly unrealistic as this become a fixed and static variable.

thoughts on “change”

While on my way to work, I was talking to a former blocmate via text messaging. The usual “hi” and “hello’s”digressed to talks of her upcoming graduation, and my relationship. Since we were both stuck on traffic, having someone to talk to was way more fun than staring at my co-passenger for God knows how long. And I somewhat found consolation knowing that although we were at both ends of the country (she was in Manila, and I was at Bankerohan inhaling all the fumes from the jeepney next to the one I was on), we were both facing the exact same dilemma at that particular instant (i.e. getting to work on time despite of the uncooperative traffic situation).

When I told her that being employed is much better because it means that I have more control over my life, she laughed and told me that it wouldn’t change much for her because she always had control over her life anyways. Then she said (almost as an afterthought) that “change is good“.

Which leaves me to ponder: do we refer to change as something good because we readily assume that it has gotten us to a better place in our lives than before change happened? Or is it just something we embrace knowing that we have moved on, instead of being stuck somewhere? Change could be very superficial. You cannot look at change by face-value, there has got to be different layers to it.

For me, I take comfort in the fact that change means more options for me to explore and it also serves as an avenue to expand my horizons. I guess change should be a means to the end, rather than the end itself.

lost in space

I’m sick of complaining.

A few weeks back, I was complaining about this flu that I had. I was forced to take medicines that were, ironically enough, making me feel more ill. I guess that’s how the mind works. Taking all these medicines made me feel sorry about myself; it made me feel worse than I actually am. And yet, this week has been consistently wet. I’m honest to goodness wishing I’ll survive this one.

On another note, I did not hear anything back from my boss for almost a week. And I was complaining, no whining, about it. When he came back, I was bombarded with all these GTA IV Project that I had to work on for another couple of weeks. Oh, great!

But, I wasn’t totally doomed (thank god!). I was just overreacting (I think). He did grant me a couple of days vacation, apart from the usual vacation leave that I can avail of. How’s that for motivation? I only wish you could see the look on my face right now.

Life isn’t cruel after all. The next thing I have to worry about is when can I get the time to shop for anything to wear on that nice getaway. Sure thing, it’s my favorite kind of dilemma.