mourning

For days, I’ve been juggling ideas, wanting to write a new post on my blog, and share some deep-wrought thoughts. These thoughts went through major revisions in my head (because I am very keen on censoring myself before voicing them out), flipping thoughts over one side to the other, thinking of better ways to pen down those ideas-slash-perception-slash-insight-slash-whatever you call them. Until…the thought was lost.

I cannot revive it. I kept going back into the deepest recesses of my brain and it was gone. Only now, it is gone forever.

Maybe next time random would work better for me. Argh!

thoughts on “productivity”

Almost a week and still no new task. My co-worker thinks it is a good thing, something I should enjoy while it lasts. But I have a penchant for wanting to be productive at all times. I dread not having to do one thing for the entire day that would make me feel accomplished, however vague that might sound.

Should I go on a vacation leave? Feels more like it. However, the question of productivity arises again. Then, I’d be guilt-stricken that I would be more than happy to deprive myself of the opportunity to unwind and “have a break”, so to speak.

What about me writing this blog? I don’t even think having this written down would change the world even in the littlest way. Some of you who might be reading this would deem it a total waste of time. Oh great, I shouldn’t really be bringing up the idea of “productivity” into question. Its too vague of a concept to deal with and I’m still sitting on this plastic mono bloc chair.