hakuna matata

months ago, when going through some major rifts that involved quite a few people, and most especially threatened the stability of my relationship with Ed, i had fears that we would both cower and run towards our various hiding places. instead, we stuck it through and found refuge in one another. i was amazed at how he was able to stand up for me, and in return i never turned my back on him as well. it was a happy feeling knowing that he’d be willing to give up ANYTHING for me.

i never had as much feeling of satisfaction before – knowing that someone always prays for you, wishes you good health, and is happy when you’re happy. last night, me and Ed had another one of those nights wherein we just watched the world go by. most people say it is an amazing feat to be able to just sit down, shut up for a minute and comfortably share a silence with another person.

Hakuna Matata! What a wonderful phrase
Hakuna Matata! Ain't no passing craze
It means no worries for the rest of your days
It's our problem-free philosophy

this was a comment he dropped at my friendster page a few months back. “hakuna matata” is a Swahili phrase which literally means “no worries”. it almost made me cringe. i was glad i can finally rest my worries and just be happy with this person. that is my wealth.

Is it too late to say “Happy Birthday”?

I know this is a late post. Just could not find the exact words to describe the entire birthday experience that Ed and I shared with his family and a few of our friends (to those who weren’t able to join us, we would love to have that videoke party-or any kind of party for that matter-with you soon). I’ve been doing too much writing this entire day so I’ll just let the pictures do the talking.

kat, pearl, and chi

me, ate amor, kat

the birthday boy

Happiness is never stopping to think if you are.
~Palmer Sondreal

ten reasons why i am happy

1. I just finished my latest article.

2. It hasn’t been raining since Sunday.

3. I finally found the perfume I have been looking to purchase in a long while.

4. I am seeing an improvement in my eating habits. not to say i have eating problems, but i am working on gaining more weight. haha.

5. I haven’t saved money but I am enjoying everything that I’ve worked hard for.

6. I will be getting enough sleep tonight.

7. I finally got to write a new blog entry, following several failed attempts.

8. It’s another weekend. No work for a couple of days; a chance to revive my sanity and reconnect with the outside world.

9. Yesterday (Ed’s birthday) was a perfect night, if ever there is indeed one.

10. Tomorrow is Ed’s post-birthday celebration; will be having videoke and dinner with some friends.

wishful thinking

today, i got a new set of tasks from my client. he promised me before that i’d be writing something totally different, meaning it has nothing to do with playstation games whatsoever. sure thing, that made me excited.

when i arrived at the office today, i was curious to find out what that new task is. turns out, i’m going to write a sort of feature article of some of the major attraction cities in the US. one heck of a job right? i mean, i just returned from a brief vacation and having that short break only fueled my desire to have an even longer break, maybe out of town this time, who knows? and i here i am, writing about these famous tourist destinations and telling potential readers the best places to go in, say Beverly Hills or Miami, when I, myself, have never even been there yet. not only do i lack the means (right now, at least), but time is my biggest adversary as of the moment.

i guess i should quit procrastinating and return to writing my articles. cause then, i will not only be able to have a glimpse of places i’ve never been to, but also visit those that are so lovely and pristine, they existed only through the human process called imagination.

brief furlough

“All work and no play makes one dull.”

This is it! I’m taking a break (a paid holiday at that – thanks to my client who was kind enough to give me the incentive) from work for a couple of days. Hopefully, those couple of days will be put to good use. After all, summer’s almost done and this could be my last shot at being able to enjoy the season before it bids goodbye. And more hopefully (fingers crossed), it extends up until the weekends so I can enjoy it to its fullest.

I really do deserve this one, after all that I’ve been through this past week.

Oh, I hope I won’t miss work – all these articles to write. Nah! I don’t think so. Forget about the outside world for a while, and all the work and everyday stress that goes with it. Hopefully, I’d be back for work next week feeling more rejuvenated! So, here’s to hoping…

forrest today

Ever seen the film by Steven Spielberg, Forrest Gump? Not only is it one of my favorite movies of all time, but it is also one of the most compelling films I’ve ever seen. Forrest stood out as a character, and no one could have probably played the role better than Tom Hanks.

It wasn’t till of late that I got to watch the film again and was amazed at how it still maintained the kind of levity it has when I first saw it. And I won’t even try to describe what the film is about at the risk of making it more conventional than it actually is. Hate to use a cliche but it the film brings out a gamut of emotions. Forrest is such a sympathetic character whom, despite his lack of intelligence, is bound for great things. Maybe his oblivion or lack of cynicism in the way he views things has enabled him to disregard the savage nature of the world. This world might deride him as “stupid” but he has craftily woven himself into some of history’s major events and grabbing opportune moments.

This kind of movie is what we need. It enables us to reflect on our times through eyes without cynicism. By saying this, I don’t discourage critical thinking. But by looking at Forrest, we come to terms as to why some people are referred to by others as “too clever by half.” Forrest was clever just exactly enough. It takes me back to several occasions when I overhear some people say they want to go back to the time when they were still little kids, because then they lived with no worries, just taking life exactly for what it is. Also, maybe then we also have had a much better opinion of the world.

Forrest Gump, although it can admittedly be taken as a bit fairy-tailish of a movie, it enables us to arrive at a reconciliation with our society. So, next time you describe the world as cruel, stop and think that maybe those who inhabit the world makes it so.

thoughts on “labels”

My feeling is that labels are for canned soup…I am what I am, and I know what I am. ~ Michael Stipe

Strict and snob. Among the most common first impressions that people have of me, those two adjectives stand out. And to be quite honest, to a certain extent, it does bug me. Nope, actually, a lot.

It’s quite trivial actually because what bothers me is not the “label” itself, but the “act of labeling”. Like, do the words “strict” or “snob” really do represent who I am and that is all there is to me? And more so, I am not one to judge (for lack of a better term) people based on what I perceive of them, especially when meeting them for the first time. And yes, “meeting them” does not consist of having a conversation with them.

It’s probably human instinct to organize or categorize things (and that would include people, I guess) . But placing people into stereotypical images is lazy judgment of character. There are different layers to a person’s overall being that just could not be deciphered by the furtive glance they give you, or their choice of clothes, or the way they speak or laugh in public.

And more so, there are those who put on a facade to make up for their own personal issues. Say, a person who appears to be shy and introvert might be suffering from issues of self-esteem and confidence; and you can’t help them raise the level of their self-esteem by assigning these negative labels. On the other end of the spectrum, there are also people who appear to be so self-assured and overly confident, and yet they use that to make up for conflicts or issues that they have to contend with themselves.

Appearance would always be ambiguous. In fact, some of my closest friends now had a slightly different opinion of me, as opposed to before they got to know me in a more profound level. Most people do not know that there is a goofy and wacky side to me. And although I am not one to speak to a stranger first in certain situations, does not mean I would single people out. Can I be strict or snob? Maybe. But that is NOT all there is to me. I’m just often misunderstood. And so are most of us.

If people are so keen on labeling, before long some of us might start putting price tags on one another. Who knows? In a world full of breakthroughs, that is not an impossibility.

thoughts on “change”

While on my way to work, I was talking to a former blocmate via text messaging. The usual “hi” and “hello’s”digressed to talks of her upcoming graduation, and my relationship. Since we were both stuck on traffic, having someone to talk to was way more fun than staring at my co-passenger for God knows how long. And I somewhat found consolation knowing that although we were at both ends of the country (she was in Manila, and I was at Bankerohan inhaling all the fumes from the jeepney next to the one I was on), we were both facing the exact same dilemma at that particular instant (i.e. getting to work on time despite of the uncooperative traffic situation).

When I told her that being employed is much better because it means that I have more control over my life, she laughed and told me that it wouldn’t change much for her because she always had control over her life anyways. Then she said (almost as an afterthought) that “change is good“.

Which leaves me to ponder: do we refer to change as something good because we readily assume that it has gotten us to a better place in our lives than before change happened? Or is it just something we embrace knowing that we have moved on, instead of being stuck somewhere? Change could be very superficial. You cannot look at change by face-value, there has got to be different layers to it.

For me, I take comfort in the fact that change means more options for me to explore and it also serves as an avenue to expand my horizons. I guess change should be a means to the end, rather than the end itself.

thoughts on “productivity”

Almost a week and still no new task. My co-worker thinks it is a good thing, something I should enjoy while it lasts. But I have a penchant for wanting to be productive at all times. I dread not having to do one thing for the entire day that would make me feel accomplished, however vague that might sound.

Should I go on a vacation leave? Feels more like it. However, the question of productivity arises again. Then, I’d be guilt-stricken that I would be more than happy to deprive myself of the opportunity to unwind and “have a break”, so to speak.

What about me writing this blog? I don’t even think having this written down would change the world even in the littlest way. Some of you who might be reading this would deem it a total waste of time. Oh great, I shouldn’t really be bringing up the idea of “productivity” into question. Its too vague of a concept to deal with and I’m still sitting on this plastic mono bloc chair.

stumbling block

Whoever said that life in the ‘real world’ is miserable was either (a) jobless, (b) in a job that s/he despises, (c) working on long hours but not getting enough compensation, or (d) lacks optimism in life.

Glad I am suffering from neither of the above. But if you are, it’s easy to get you out of that slump. It all boils down to perspective. It is never about what comes in life but how we take it.

So, go find a positive attitude! Take time to love your job, or else, do something else that you love! It will be worth it! As for me, I’ve gotten past the hard part. Now that I have earned a regular position in the company I’m working for, it leaves me with a bit of stability and more time for explorations and self-discovery (I hope).

You cannot leave everything to fate, she’s got a lot of work to do, you must give her a hand too. This might be your one shot at transforming your life, and maybe start to celebrate it. Good luck guys!

a crosspost from my multiply: moment of epiphany

When you have three more hours to spare at work, it helps to read through your friends’ blogs. Reading through one of my friend’s blog entries, it has just dawned me (and I was almost surprised) that it has been a year since I graduated.

Looking back on that very day of my graduation, I did not know whether to be proud or scared. As one of my blocmates said, there was no epiphanic moment. There was none of those tear-jerker moments we often witness on graduation rites (except for a few). Oh well, I would give myself a credit for having undergone four years of grilling in one of the underrated courses in UPMin. Yep, it was a torture! That is why I counted this success the sweetest…

But what have I become after a year in the “real world“?

I know, it has been overrated. But for someone like me whose going through the transformation of being a college student to an independent woman, it is a scary thought. It’s not only about getting a decent (repeat: decent) job, it’s the fact that I am slowly carving the paths to wherever I am headed from here on out.

After two jobs – the first one paid well enough but did not offer me self-fulfillment, the second one that was referred to by my mom as a “blessing in disguise” – I felt like I haven’t seen much of the harshness that the “real world” has to offer. But then, I don’t really believe that you have to fall in order to stand up tall. And I believe that I am standing tall.

So, if you’re asking what I have become then? This is all there is to me as of this writing…

Hopefully, tomorrow, or the next few months (or years, don’t count on me please) I’ll be somewhat different.